Don’t poke the bear is one of my favorite things to say at the moment.

Is it just me or does your partner think it’s amusing to stir you when you are angry? Let me explain…

I have been getting these white rages, not sure if that is the official medical term, but that is how I describe them. I hear it is a symptom of the whole menopause process and definitely not a pleasant one for all involved.  I get suddenly angry over the smallest things. Like really angry. To the point I want to punch a wall or throw something across the room.

And the language…the words that are coming out of my mouth would shock a tradie on any worksite in the country. Words that I have always hated, now fly out of my mouth without a care. It’s shocking!

When I get into these white rages the best thing to do is LEAVE ME ALONE!!

Which is what I keep trying to tell my husband.

Don’t tell me to calm down or shut up. That is like waving a red flag at a bull. That is the worst possible thing you can do. So my response is usually, “Don’t poke the bear.”

I have tried to explain to him that it is part of this whole menopause journey. I have told him I am not yelling at him (well most of the time anyway). Just let me be. Let me yell and scream to the computer or the TV or the WiFi which is going slow or whatever it is that is making me feel this way. My rages usually only last a few minutes and pass just as quickly as they start.

Am I alone here?

I was talking to a friend recently who has been having a lot of issues with the M word about how easy it is for me, how I’ve found a solution that works and I’m sitting pretty. Then a few months the brain fog got sooo much worse (yes, I often think I have early onset dementia, something that scares the hell out of me as my mum has it), these rages started and I am feeling tired and demotivated. All very unTanya like.

After diving into Google, listening to some podcasts, following some experts on Instagram and talking to my friends, I have discovered these are all part of this change our bodies go through. And it sux!!

If you did believe in God, then this would be enough to convince you he is a man because no female God would do this to her own kind.

So, my advice to the blokes and partners out there is not to “poke the bear.” If you value your life and your sanity, I emplore you, just leave us alone. Maybe give us a hug (if you can get near us) and tell us you love us. This won’t last (at least I bloody well hope not) and calm will resume hopefully in the not too distant future. We don’t want to be like this but we know you love us (you know you do) so if you are one of the blokes reading this, then buy your wife some flowers and tell her she is beautiful. Imagine the day when you will once again have a peaceful home because we want that, too.